Feeding Ducks

Doesn't sound like a dangerous experience. Unless geese are involved. Geese are assholes. I knew this already, but apparently the life lessons taught me in Gilmore Girls didn't stick.

Baby Sage has been obsessed with books this week and one of her favs is about baby animals, so I decided we'd go to the park and feed the ducks. I'm always looking for something to get us out of the house and this sounded perfect. After her morning nap we headed to the park, the first little pond had a few ducks in it (clearly the outcasts) so we threw some bread to them and eased her into the whole "look it's a real life duck, don't freak out" thing.

It was a tad boring so we headed over to the big pond. Immediately I notice some of these things are not like the rest. There are two evil, conniving, giant geese along with some not so passive, aggressive ducks. They were just chillin' in the pond so I tossed them some bread.

And then it began. One of the geese heads our way and it's gang of ducks and the other goose followed suit. I'm getting antsy but mentally telling myself not to freak, if I do then Sage will too and I don't want to scar her for life.

The first goose comes toward me but stays outside by bubble and just stands beside me, nbd. The ducks are a little cray cray and clearly none of these birds have any fear of people. I calmly continue to toss them bread while remaining on high alert. I mean these is no level orange, it's level red people. No joke.

When I least expect it goose number two goes for my toes. At first I'm just like "oh crap, back off", but it keeps at it. I'm standing there holding a nearly one year old, surrounded by ducks and this goose is comin' at me and so of course my flight or fight kicks in. Fight or Flight? Fight or Flight? Fight. I swing the bag of bread and give the goose a warning tap. Clearly that didn't do the trick so I wind up and give it a good whack in the neck which immediately gets a reaction out of it.

I jump back, it jumps back. Then it starts stretching it's neck out and flapping it's wings with this incredulous look on it's face.

Flight, flight!! I tossed the rest of the bread and said, "time to bounce Babe Sage" and we high tailed it out of there and hung out with the ugly duckling for the rest of our water fowl adventure.

Moral of the story, geese are assholes. Never trust them.